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week two ♡ saturday ♡ nino
[one of the first people he knows he needs to find once things settle down is nino.
after laura's maggot puking ordeal—there's cause to worry. nino's life depends on laura's, and laura's... is more than half gone. of course, the moral quandary of "does killing someone who is already dead and wants to die really count?" especially when it'll save an innocent life—it exists.
but somehow, it gets shoved to the back of his mind a little, that sense of justice he'd always held to. this place doesn't play by rules that he can follow while also keeping his conscience clean.
it just isn't possible, he's learning quickly.
it means he has to make his own judgments—follow his own justice, even if it's not right.
(ha. ha ha. is this how akechi felt? he has to wonder if this is how he ended up the way he did by operating for shido's sake.)
...they're thoughts that come and go quickly, resting on his mind but shoved away when he finally tracks nino down—
her well-being comes first over his own state of mind.]
...Hey.
[chatty, as ever. he sure is.]
after laura's maggot puking ordeal—there's cause to worry. nino's life depends on laura's, and laura's... is more than half gone. of course, the moral quandary of "does killing someone who is already dead and wants to die really count?" especially when it'll save an innocent life—it exists.
but somehow, it gets shoved to the back of his mind a little, that sense of justice he'd always held to. this place doesn't play by rules that he can follow while also keeping his conscience clean.
it just isn't possible, he's learning quickly.
it means he has to make his own judgments—follow his own justice, even if it's not right.
(ha. ha ha. is this how akechi felt? he has to wonder if this is how he ended up the way he did by operating for shido's sake.)
...they're thoughts that come and go quickly, resting on his mind but shoved away when he finally tracks nino down—
her well-being comes first over his own state of mind.]
...Hey.
[chatty, as ever. he sure is.]
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The votes, and seeing her name so many times? Definitely jarring. But most of all... Laura, her sneer, her certainty that she didn't want to live, and the way she'd vomited--
Laura was going to die.
And she was going to take Nino with her.
So she's sitting on the beach again, in a small, quiet area, arms wrapped around her legs. She'll be cheerful for everyone again soon--but right now, she just needed some time to come to terms with things. So...she jumps at Akira's voice, lost in her thoughts as she was, and almost flops over as she tries to straighten up too fast.]
Oh...!
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[they already knew this talk was coming after earlier—but akira doesn't want to push her into it. if she needs more time to collect her thoughts and be alone, he'll definitely give her that—
especially since it doesn't seem like nino was particularly ready for company here.]
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[Just because she's a failure doesn't mean she doesn't want the company, after all.
Especially...if it's him.]
I... please sit with me...?
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Mm, alright.
[he definitely doesn't hesitate to plop down next to her on her good side, so she can see him out of her peripheral vision.
in any case, he's still pretty quiet, because he's here to be support for nino this time—unlike before, where he needed it just as much. taking things at her pace seems fine with him, really.]
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He reminds her of a big brother, and she's always been a bit touch starved, honestly.
... But she'll just stare at the sand otherwise for a long moment, before softly:]
I... don't want to die here.
[But... it's seeming more and more likely that even if nobody kills her--Laura will.]
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he's not sure if he can.
akira sighs quietly, resting a hand gently atop her head, other hand fidgeting idly.]
Nobody would target you. [aside from laura but akira clearly doesn't give a shit what she thinks.]
Those sick bastards... [they did this on purpose, akira is sure. hal and pal... they probably thought it was funny to pair the most likable person with a literal corpse who didn't stand a chance at survival.
...and that definitely makes him want to use his role against them—not just for nino's sake (mostly for that) but to spite them and their stupid rules.]
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Laura... I don't know how long Laura will live for. And... and she doesn't even want to.
[It's a real bad situation to be in.]
... What will Jaffar do, Akira? If something happens? If Laura... [If Laura dies, and Nino dies... what will be left for Jaffar?]
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[well.
he already knows exactly what he can do, but he has to keep this vague. he can't tell nino his role, or even that a role exists that would allow him to save her.
and even if he could...
he's not certain he would.
she doesn't need to know how willing he's become to bloody his hands for what he thinks is necessary. ha.
haaaa.]
...Don't give up, okay? We'll get you and Jaffar home safely. [he hopes.]
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How...can she not want to live, Akira?
I don't... I don't get it...
[And it's not fair, she can't help but think--it's not fair at all.]
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[there's no denying that.]
I don't think what she's doing now... really counts as living.
[she's a reanimated corpse. she's decomposing, she's puking maggots. she's not okay—how could he blame her for wanting to be put out of that misery?]
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They, too, had looked happy to be set free.
She ducks her head, expression grim.]
... But I want to live.
Is that... am I the selfish one here...? [If Laura wants to die, and Nino's the only thing in her way--]
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[despite the way he scolded jinah, it wasn't about selfishness entirely, not selfishness to love, at least.]
It's selfish of her to want to take you out with her. [to be clear.] But neither of you is selfish for how you view your lives.
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[It seems to make her feel a little bit better to hear that--a little.]
I'll...keep doing my best to live.
But-- Akira...
[She swallows tightly, ducking her head further.]
If... something happens to Laura or to me... please make sure Jaffar doesn't lose himself. I... I don't know what he would do without me. But Jaffar deserves to live too.
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he wants to help her—but he has no idea if he can actually pull off what he wants to do.
he can't make any promises here, so he just sighs quietly.]
Yeah. If there's some way from it coming to that, I'll do whatever I can... for both of you.
[...] Neither of you deserves to go through that.
[what he did, with haru.]
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[She knows Akira's already dealing with a lot.]
But I don't know who else to ask...
[Because he's also the one she trusts the most here, Jaffar aside.]
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[honestly.]
I wish I could promise you a solution. But... I don't want to make one I might break.
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I didn't really expect you to have a solution.
[That would be?? Ridiculous??]
But...thank you for listening.
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[he'll always listen to her when she needs it.]