week three ♡ wednesday ♡ raven

[jokered]

[it does take him a long while to step foot in the hut. there were a lot of people to scold and a couple more trying to make sure akira didn't lose his chill completely.

which is proving pretty difficult, but he did take out a good chunk of his anger on bellamy, so there's that. not that he intends on saying that, bellamy can share that experience with her later if he so chooses. for now, his sits, gaze hardened.]

Did you forget that "teammates" means you should at least tell me what stupid plan you've hatched before you do it?

[he's not really expecting a verbal response after what seemed to have happened earlier, but. you know. he still has to say it. one of them has to talk, after all.]

I never make decisions my team doesn't agree to. That's always been our rule. Unanimous, or we don't do it.

[not whatever the fuck raven and bellamy and the other morons all went and did.]

Comments

[hydrazine]

[by now, she's contacted the chiefs and obtained a pad of paper and pencil, so she can at least respond to whoever speaks to her. while what happened is horrible, and she hasn't even begun to deal with (a lifetime without speaking another word aloud seems surreal), it might be a blessing in one specific way.

as akira enters and speaks, there's a sharp retort on the way... but one that, obviously, doesn't come out. instead, she has time to plan exactly what she wants to say, making sure that her quick temper doesn't jump towards him immediately. she takes a breath in, and then starts to write, holding the following message up for him to see.]

I'm not sorry for what I did. You're free to think it was stupid, but I disagree. [She figures it's better to be upfront and honest about that.] But I am sorry that I didn't tell you that I was going to do it.

[jokered]

Even if you're sorry about that—

[and even though he doesn't dobut she is—his temper is the one that's a bit more off the rails right now. he's not yelling, at least.

for whatever that may be worth.

but she managed to hit his weak spot; his trust in others, especially people older than him, tends to be tenuous at best. what she did went against his fundamental beliefs and tugged at a line of trust that he's been doing his best to be careful with.

so yeah, he's furious.]

That's what makes it stupid. Nobody coordinated anything. Nobody agreed aside from those who went, and it doesn't even sound like most of you talked to each other about it. You guys put people at risk in a pretty selfish way, and none of us were prepared for the consequences.

[of course, if he'd known, he'd have put his foot down to try and make everyone stop, but at worst, he probably would have went. to at least help, to try and protect people—instead of being helpless and not even knowing that people he cares about are risking their lives.

he's not sure he can say their findings were particularly worth it, either, but he refrains for the time being.]

It's not just for my own sake that I'm glad you—and the others—all came back alive.

[...he's mad, but he's still glad for that, and still worried as fuck for everyone, especially with how many of them have put themselves in further danger as easy targets.]

But you still failed step one at "how to build trust with teammates."

[and she's kind of... going to have to earn that back. honestly speaking. he's been burned too many times to just forgive it that easily, even if he still has every intention of looking out for her and defending her.]

[hydrazine]

[she listens to everything he says, and again, takes time to write down a response.]

I did coordinate with the people I went with. I didn't know anyone else was traveling to another area; if I did, I would have spoken to them, too.

I already admitted I should have told you, but I wasn't about to tell the entire island. That would have been more of a risk. We don't know how the killing roles operate. What if they found out and saw it as an easy opportunity to try and pick a few of us off at once?

[it takes her a moment to decide how to phrase what she wants to say next, but she continues after tapping her pencil against the pad of paper a few times.]

I understand why you're angry. I get it. Just keep in mind that if I thought for one second that going there would have gotten me killed, I wouldn't have gone.

[and, in her view, that's not due to her being ill-prepared for what they'd come up against. even if she knew before going what they would find, she would still be confident about that fact. she's survived far worse.]

[jokered]

[if nothing else, he does deflate a little—but he's still pretty aggravated. he doesn't really think the killing roles would target them that blatantly, given the time of day they were gone and what day of the week it is.

but it feels like a wasted effort to argue it. every argument he's had tonight has been wasted on stubborn people who doesn't really seem to grasp the foolishness in their approach. people who thought telling only a 10 year old was sufficient, people who don't think their teammates don't deserve to know they're risking their lives, people who don't even tell their friends from home—

people like lucina, who could barely keep herself conscious trying to go back just to retrieve something she lost.

everyone handled it so recklessly, and. well. even for akira, who can be incredibly reckless—he only does things that will endanger himself, never others. if things went wrong, innocent people would have been sentenced to die without even knowing the reason, or having a chance to combat it.

maybe sometimes, it's better that he's a quiet person, and maybe more so, that he got out so many of his words before getting to the hut that he's just out of energy to fight.]

...You should at least do me the favor of telling me what the hell happened. [...] Tomorrow, if it's easier.

[in the end, he really can't turn off his concern or his consideration, even if he's completely aggravated.]

[hydrazine]

I can tell you now, if you want.

[But—]

You sure you want to hear it?

[It's not out of concern that it's too much for him, or any kind of avoidance of talking about what happened. Instead... If she were this angry at someone, she knows she wouldn't want to have to listen to something difficult they'd been through. She doesn't want him to feel like he needs to do that, but she won't object if he asks again.]

[jokered]

If you're tired, it can wait.

[otherwise, it's fine. it's not like waiting is going to make him any less frustrated about it; it's better if he gets all the aggravation out in one shot so he can just work on moving past it.

waiting for her to tell him later so he can get upset again over his lack of agency in the situation is probably a worse idea, especially because he doesn't particularly like being anything but calm and collected.

which he has. really not been tonight.]

[hydrazine]

I'm not.

[So she starts writing, It's a long explanation, so it'll take her a few moments to write it all out.]

We walked through the jungle for an hour until we found a clearing full of bananas. When we got in, for some reason, we couldn't get out again. It was like the trees closed in on us.

In the middle of the clearing was a plant. It looked poisonous, and it had teeth? That's the best way to describe it. [Like a Venus Flytrap.] There were some weird flies there, and one got close enough to the plant's mouth. Then it started freaking out, like it realized we were there.

It had spiked vines, and one of them grabbed Keith around the throat. We got it off, but it was dripping venom that burned whatever it touched. When we got it off, a spike hit his arm and ripped most of it off. While we were fighting the plant, one of the flies landed on her arm and stabbed some kind of stinger into her arm. It just... disappeared, like it was made of dust. I killed the plant eventually, but we had to fight it for a while. It hit Bellamy in the face with one of the spikes. There were other flies, and one didn't have a stinger, so I didn't notice it. It flew right into my mouth.

We left as soon as it was safe to try and get away. That's the whole story.

1/2

[jokered]

[okay, he definitely needs a second to process that mostly because. what the fuck. even after he's done reading it, he's kind of just looking to the paper and then back to raven like.

what the fuck.

at least that probably mitigates some of his more serious anger for the time being.]

[jokered]

[and then, both quietly and dryly:]

...Even the plants and the bugs here want us dead. That's good to know.

[look.

he's coping. because nothing about this is good or okay. nobody is okay, even if they got back alive and there's not really anything comforting that can be said for that.

he might have something more useful to say in a minute, especially with regards to. you know. the fly that flew in her mouth, but. just what the fuck, seriously.]

[hydrazine]

Not so different from the Earth I lived on for a year.

[It's an attempt to brush off that concern. Something like this... It's something she knows she can get through. She might not be used to killer plants, but she's used to danger.]

[jokered]

[he's used to danger too, but this is still a bit out of his league.]

That doesn't really make it any better.

[hydrazine]

It does for me. I've been through worse, so I know I can get through this.

[Which might not be comforting to hear, but it's sincere enough that it helps her to think about how she's moved past bigger hurdles than this.]

[jokered]

...I wouldn't expect you to say any less.

[honestly speaking. it doesn't make things better, but it sure as hell sounds like raven to say.]

[hydrazine]

It's like I said. I've gotta make it long enough to kick their asses.

[jokered]

Can you at least try to be a little less reckless about it in the process next time?

[even if he knows she can handle it, he'd like her to be at least "less reckless" enough to keep him in the loop. that would be nice.]

[hydrazine]

[There's a pause, but she decides to be a little more honest with him here.]

Something like this doesn't register as reckless for me anymore. But I should have thought about it more for your sake.

[And then a frown, looking to the ground as she writes.]

There probably won't be a next time, anyways. I'm not giving up on getting us out of here, but I'm not about to lose a limb for something like bananas or water. I was hoping we'd find more.

[jokered]

...Just as much of a trap as anything else is.

[maybe bananas and waters are helpful, but the cost was a little steep for the returns. either way? aggravated as he's been, akira does seem a bit relieved to see that she's not going to just do the thing.]

I'm not saying you should give up on finding a way out, either. You know I want to do that too.

[hydrazine]

There's no way I'm giving up on that. I'm not letting all these people die.

[It seems obvious to her.]

[jokered]

I know. That's why I'm not telling you to do that.

[...] But you can rely on me a bit too, you know.

[hydrazine]

I'm not used to that. It hasn't really ended well for me.

[another sliver of honesty that she figures she owes him.]

[jokered]

[he nods.]

I understand.

[all too well. he's much the same in many ways, after all.]

The offer's on the table, though.

[hydrazine]

[After a pause:]

Yeah. Same to you.

[jokered]

[they're doing great.]

...You should get some rest. [yeah. despite all of his aggravation, he's definitely still worried about her.]

[hydrazine]

[A shake of her head.]

I've had worse than this, and I've run on less sleep then, too. I'm not tired.

[jokered]

That doesn't mean you shouldn't rest while you can.