jokered | week four ♡ saturday ♡ magilou

[honesty. . . she doesn't blame him at all, or anyone who voted for Jacopo and Laphicet. as soon as the latter's name appeared on the potential killer list, she knew he had to be guilty]

[and she wasn't wrong]

[she's out on the beach, standing by the shore, allowing the water to lap at her bare feet. she hears Akira approach, tilting her head to the side to acknowledge same. before he can say anything. . . she lifts up one finger, though she doesn't turn to face him]

Do you want to hear a story?

[she's dealing with things in her own magilou way, but... akira isn't looking for that, right now. not like this.

he knows it, without knowing what transpired with anyone else, that she's probably having a hard time of it. no matter what veneers she puts up, how she smile or jokes—he knows that laphicet is important to her, he knows this isn't easy.

he knows what it's like to be in that position. only now? it's worse. worse because she knows beforehand, and worse because he knows he was complicit in making this happen.

so akira doesn't answer.

maybe he wants to hear a story in a minute; he always wants to hear the things she has to say.

but first, there's something else his heart tells him to do, and right now, he really doesn't want to fight his heart. he's quiet, approaching her from behind and wrapping his arms around her. he hunches over, something of a gargantuan task with their height difference, but still rests his chin on her shoulder before emitting very quiet words.]

I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.

[both for what's happening and being a part of it.]

[that. . . is like, the fourth time today someone has taken her off guard by approaching her with something she didn't expect. Laphicet's hug, Lucina's vote, Jacopo's. . . everything. . . and now? this]

[she freezes, arm still extended, when she feels him curl into her from behind]

[the first thing she notices is that it's warm, a warmth she wants to lean into and bury her face in and not move from for the next five thousand years or so]

[everything aches, and she doesn't like it, and it's just so tempting to chase that good feeling and leave everything else behind. . .]

[. . . she settles for the next best thing, which is allowing her arm to fall to her side as she leans back into him, rocking back on her heels]

. . .

There's a reason the Abbey wanted to destroy all emotion in humans, you know.

[calm. even. composed. detached]

Creatures from my world, whenever they experience a negative emotion such as anger or sadness, produce malevolence. Too much malevolence turns them into a monster. A daemon. This can affect animals, humans, malakhim. . . anything with free will.

We call that affliction the daemonblight.

[. . .]

Destroy all emotion, destroy malevolence, destroy the daemonblight. That is. . . the last piece of the story I told you.

Edited 2017-09-03 03:35 (UTC)

[he'll take it. though this isn't about him right now, there's comfort to be had in the fact that magilou doesn't push him away. even if she doesn't acknowledge his apologies and just continues on with her story—she's still leaning against him.

in some way, she's still accepting his support.]

That's what Artorius wanted to stop with what he was doing. Depriving people of their freedom and will... a means to an end to stop malevolence and... daemonblight.

[...

he waits, though. his hold on her remains firm, but with a slight, soothing sway. he waits, because there's surely a reason she decided to tell him this right now.]

[there is. and she continues]

. . . of course, stopping Artorius and Innominant stopped humanity from being turned into mindless slaves, but. . . it did nothing to cure the daemonblight. And our methods for stopping Innominant put the very balance of nature in jeopardy. When you think about it, the Lord of Calamity was a fitting name for the daemon who wrought chaos and destruction on the world.

[slowly, as she talks, her hands come to rest on his arms, tracing idle patterns against the sleeves of his blazer]

But there existed one being in our world who had the ability to purify malevolence with silver flames of purification. To cure the daemonblight, and restore to those afflicted their humanity.

Laphicet. . . was that being.

[he doesn't discourage her from telling her story, though akira's breath catches a little when she clarifies the importance of laphicet's role.

he's not just someone important to magilou, but to her entire world. and without him, that world is in danger, theoretically. he's still not sure he could regret his vote, but he gets it. what makes that so difficult. what kind of choice he made and why she could never vote for him, even if she might have had an inkling that he was guilty.

his head shifts, leaning himself against her, hold steady, but seeking out an offering of comforting contact.

but really, he's not entirely sure what to say.]

And that's why you couldn't vote for him, no matter his guilt.

It's one reason.

[the other is far more deeply personal, and no matter how hard she tries to hide it, it's probably obvious: she didn't want him to die]

To defeat Innominat, we had to awaken four other Empyreans. One each of fire, water, earth and wind. But without Innominat, the four would fill the world with chaos and natural disasters. A fifth Empyrean was needed to balance them.

Laphicet became that fifth Empyrean. The Dragon of Light. Maotelus.

[he shifts. she takes the invitation, and tilts her head until her cheek is pressed against his]

Do you know why he chose to kill?

[he doesn't need her to say the other reason. akira knows that—no matter how she tries to keep that hidden, he's no fool (a Fool, but not a fool). he won't question that. he won't force her to say it.

instead, he listens—it's what he does best. listen to the things people have to say, what they want to tell him. he absorbs every word, truly listening to magilou like she really is the only person in the world to listen to.

he's invested in this, because it's important to her, and he wants to support her in the ways he can. he may be beyond saving for himself, with how he feels about his choices in this place—but he can't let her heart shatter again, he thinks. he has to find a way to be her pillar.]

Telepathy isn't one of my abilities, so I have no way of knowing that. [it's not like anyone else would tell him—so this is a burden that has to fall on her.]

[she didn't expect him to say "yes" to that question; it was more a stalling technique than anything. because while she was able to tell him the first part of the story in a clinical, observant manner, this next part is. . . ]

[. . .]

[something wrenches within. it knocks her off balance, causes her to slump forward, away from the warmth of his embrace. she presses a hand against her face, shoulders hunched]

[this next part is. . .]

He-- wanted to make an ideal world. . . where Velvet could be happy. He told me that. During our second week here, he told me that he was thinking about killing someone, to create a world where there was no malevolence. No daemonblight. No need for Maotelus. I didn't-- hhhhhaha-- really think much about it. Velvet is. . . his everything.

[. . . is that laughter lacing her words?]

H-haha! It's really funny, actually! Because, you see, I didn't realize exactly what he meant by that! I thought, well, why not create a world without malevolence? Then. . . then Velvet could be happy, because she wouldn't be a daemon, she wouldn't need to keep herself sealed away with Innominat to prevent him from turning everyone into emotionless slaves, and she could actually live with the rest of us, and it'd be just like old times, when we were all traveling the world together! You know? That that sounded-- heeeeh-- like a pretty good deal!

[if he still has a hold on her, even after she slumped forward in his arms, she's turning limp now. collapsing to the ground at his feet, her hand still pressed against her face and her shoulders shaking with. . . laughter]

Joke's on me, though! T-to him, the ideal world for Velvet is. . . is one where every bad thing that happened to her. . . n-never happened. A world where the S-Shepherd never killed her brother. Where he remained Arthur, Velvet's brother-in-law, and her sister Celica never died and the Laphicet you know here was born as their child and everyone lived together like one, big happy family!

It's an ideal world where I never would have met the Velvet I knew and loved. A world where I never w-would have met him-- Laphicet-- or. . . or Rokurou, or Eizen, or Eleanor, or. . .

[waves her free hand, a helpless motion]

H-hey, that's funny, isn't it? That's something worth laughing over? B-because I really can't stop right now!

[it's wrong. it's so, so wrong to hear her talking this way.

she's... shattering, isn't she? what laphicet wanted to do would take away her agency. it would take away the healing she's done and the progress she's made. it would leave her without the life and friends, without the experiences she had and the memories.

laphicet selfishly wanted to take everything away from magilou and everyone else for velvet's sake, and that's so unbelievably fucked up that he wants to do that. it sounds like the thing a shitty adult would do, not a kid—but maybe that was the crowd he came from.

akira's not sure.

but what he's absolutely sure of is that no matter how much it makes his blood boil, it's not about him. it's about magilou. it's about magilou slumped at his feet, laughing in the most humorless, despairing way he could have ever heard. he can't... he can't sit here and just let this happen. not like this.

so akira shifts around so that he's in front of her, crouching down and not hesitating to wrap her in a hug.]

I don't need a performance from the Menagerie tonight. [he pulls her a little closer.] You don't have to smile, or laugh, or treat it like it's funny.

[it's not funny, it's not funny at all to see her like this. it... makes his own chest hurt a little, because he knows that she's struggling and he's not sure he can really pull her from this on her own. for all that she's opened up to him, for all that this is pretty open—

watching the potential for not just her world or her own life as she lives and breathes to collapse, but for it to exist in a way that negates everything she's come to know, that's just too damn much.

(what the fuck, laphicet, honestly.)]

[she might be breaking again. just a little bit. because he's right-- Laphicet's ideal world is for Velvet, not her. and while she understands that. . . while she isn't angry, while she doesn't care that Laphicet made a selfish choice out of his love for Velvet because that's how their group was, it still. . .]

[going for so long without a place to belong, and then finding one, and then having it potentially ripped away from her so easily. . . and that, coupled with Laphicet dying tomorrow. . . she's perhaps just a little not okay right now]

[just a little]

[she stiffens when he hugs her, plants a hand on his shoulder and almost pushes him away. but there's something grounding about that warmth, something that beckons to her and keeps her from bolting. so instead of pushing, she curls her fingers into his blazer and presses her forehead against his other shoulder]

[she's still shaking with laughter, though she somehow manages to talk between strained chortles]

N-no performances tonight, huh? It's really funny, honestly! Don't you like dramatic irony? Heh. . . H-hey, you know what this means? I-if I get out of here alive, I wonder if I could ask one of the Chiefs to send me to another world? There are so many universes out there, right? Where would I even start!

Oh oh, even better-- I could start up my own talent agency. I'd take all sorts of auditions! I bet the t-talent in other universes is unique and inspiring.

[he has to do something right while he's in this god forsaken place. he hasn't been able to protect anyone. not haru, not raven, not the people he voted for that lost their lives, not the people he didn't vote for who were innocent—

he feels like he's broken just about every creed he's lived by as a phantom thief.

he's already taken her heart—

can he at least protect that? can he at least do that much, when he can't promise that either of them will even live to see another trial? he has to try. the last couple of days, since raven's disappearance, that fire has been muted. moments of it sparking—mostly with magilou, but now? right now, akira feels that fire and that passion in his own heart. this is something he can do. this is something he needs to do.]

I won't let it break again. [his voice is quiet, but fiery, and his words are concise.

akira's hand slides up her back gently, not stopping until it rests cupping the back of her head. he's pulling her into his warmth, trying to give her the reassurance she deserves.]

It might fray or fracture, but it won't break.

[he'll follow his own heart, his own rebellion. fuck convention. fuck what's too much, or too fast, or too rash. he's always tried to live without regrets to protect the people in need.

right now, magilou is in need, to be sure.] If Laphicet wants to rebuild a world you have no place in—I'll build a spot for you in mine.

[because he can't let her go without a place to belong.

also just. jfc, akira.]

[the laughter cuts off abruptly. she still in his arms, so still that she isn't even breathing. she doesn't dare move, doesn't dare lift her head to look at him and show him the bewilderment in her expression]

[. . .]

[what the fuck, how does he always know just the right things to say to reach past her barriers and touch that broken heart of hers]

. . . hey. . . you've only known me for four weeks.

[how long does it take someone to build a spot like that, anyway? and she won't lie to herself, either-- she's still a bit convinced the other night was just a fluke, a momentary show of weakness on his part. maybe not something he'd regret, but. . . not at all something serious]

I know.

[he hasn't lost track of time.]

...Everyone in the Phantom Thieves, and everyone who associates directly with them [through him, of course] We're outcasts.

[so it's not unprecedented.]

We made a place for ourselves to belong, to support each other. To help other people like us, too.

[he's pretty damn resolved right now.]

[she finally draws back, though she doesn't go too far, unwilling to leave the full circle of his embrace. he'll notice that she's dry too-- no crying, here. just. . . really unnecessary laughter]

. . .

Sounds kind of gross.

[??? MAGILOU. . . then again, he knows she's not very good at things like "feelings" and "support" and whatnot]

Sounds kind of like Velvet's group, too. Only we didn't come together for mutual support or anything feelings-y, because none of us really liked that stuff.

[:/ :/ FEELINGS ARE GROSS]

Nobody's saying you have to be... feelings-y.

[he's never forced that on her before, he won't start, either. he opens up the opportunity for her to try if she wants to take it.

but forcing it isn't his style.]

Just that four days, four weeks, four months, four years. It doesn't matter. If I want to help someone, I'm going to do it.

[...] And I don't want you to break again.

[gently, but with feeling: what the fuck]

[she knows she doesn't deserve this. she knows she's a li'l shit, just as selfish as Laphicet is, when it comes down to it. this offer is too good for her. way too good for her]

[and yet. . .]

[if there's one thing she's learned about him on this island (and honestly, she's learned many things), it's that when he gets that determined resolve in his expression, his mind is made up and he won't back down]

I'm already broken. I can't break again, remember?

[:T]

. . . but, hey. Tell you what. If you actually build that space. . . then I'll give it a try. I'll even pay rent, if you want. No promises I'll stay, though.

[she puts it in terms of "if" and makes no promises to stick around not because she doesn't trust him, or because she doubts the sincerity of his offer. she just. . . doesn't believe in herself. in her ability not to do something that'd totally ruin things, or her own fickleness and whimsical nature which could lead to her fucking off somewhere else. that's all]

[SHE KNOWS HERSELF!! SHE REALLY DOES!! although she thinks, deep down, that he does too. and if he knows her, and still makes an offer like this one, then. . .]

[christ she thinks she might be getting breathless again, and that's really really not fair]

Alright.

[those were easy terms.]

It's not about force anyway. You can do the things you want to do. [so even if he carves a place for her in his world and she decides she wants to strike out on her own...

he wouldn't stop her.] I'm not into chaining people down.

[he says that firmly, because that is something he believes in very strongly.

but his tone softens after a moment, because really—all of this comes from the fact that he's worried about her.]

But if I have to make that space, I will. [...] Call me a selfless do-gooder if you want, I don't mind.

[. . . the fact that he accepts those terms for what they are-- no arguments, no hurt feelings, no trying to convince her otherwise-- is very. . .]

[. . .]

[SOFTLY, BUT WITH FEELING: WHAT THE FUCK]

[she rocks back a bit. lifts one arm to swipe it across her face, rubbing away non-existent tears. Laphicet's injury still stings. it will for a while, like a brand on her heart, right next to Melchior's. but for now?]

[she thinks the immediate burn, at least, has been soothed. maybe there isn't a place for her as she is now in Laphicet's ideal world for Velvet. . . but there is, at least, someone else out there willing to make room]

[she's a Mayvin, after all. she has taken an oath to extend her lifespan for hundreds and hundreds of years in exchange for recording all of humanity's history. she was never meant to stay in the same circle forever, anyway. right. . .?]

You are a selfless do-gooder.

[. . . ugh!!]

. . . and Bienfu is coming too!

[how could she forget]

[honestly? he's not sure there's even a place for himself in his world anymore. with haru gone, with everything that's happened here, akira's not sure he has a place.

he's not sure he can call himself joker, or a good leader, or anything he once was so, so cocky about. he's finding his resolve for magilou's sake right now, but his own feelings about his place in the world is pretty hard to parse right now.

a problem for later, though.

maybe some other time, he'll be willing to address that, but it's not tonight. tonight—he needs to be there for her.

it's what he does, right?

he's everyone's pillar—and after all that's happened, he wants to be that for her especially.]

Bienfu is welcome, too. [he says, softly. he has no idea how it'd work, because even morgana has strange conditions to exist in his world but.

whatever, it's fine. cognition's a powerful tool, right? maybe somehow, he can utilize it.]

[careful not to break while you're holding up everyone else, Trickster, is what she'd say if she knew he was doubting himself. but she doesn't, so. . .]

[it's another brief flicker in her expression. another glimpse behind her mask. her smile-- usually devious and cunning-- softens, allowing him a second look at a genuine display of happy garatefulness. it's the same smile he got the other night, earnest and true to how she feels. it's a small one, but it's genuine, and that makes it shine all the brighter]

[but it vanishes quickly like a gust of wind]

You know what, though?

[she doesn't quite slip back into her usual antics yet. maybe it's the vulnerability of the moment, or maybe she's finally realizing that she's tired. but whatever it is, it keeps her quiet in a pensive way]

After this game is over, I would like to travel from universe to universe. See the sights. There are so many stories out there-- not just the ones on my world.

Can you imagine how many books they'd fill?

Enough to publish a series of novels.

[he doesn't press on her smile, even though... even if it's brief, it's still warming to him. she's—honestly very pretty and charming, and in those moments of sincerity, akira can feel his heart beat a little harder in his chest.

it makes him want to do more, of course, to try and make her smile more freely. now isn't the time for that though.

instead, he'll encourage gently. he'll help her try to find a place in a situation where someone is trying to take hers away.]

If you do that, you need to make sure you come back to visit sometimes. [he won't ask for much, but if he can see her again when all is said and done...

he thinks he'd be pretty okay with that.]

[ah. . .]

[she doesn't really know what it feels like for someone to actually want her around like this. she imagines Velvet and the others were happy to have her, but it was. . . different. people drawn together by circumstance who disbanded once their goals were met, versus someone asking her to stick around even when everything is said and done]

[her chest feels weird again, but it doesn't ache. it's a warmer, more content feeling]

[lllllightly]

If I feel like it. [the tsun way is saying, "of course."]

Traveling alone is also kind of boring! I mean, I'll have Bienfu, but I might need a handy sidekick to carry my bags for me, too.

[hint hint]

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