![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
week one ♡ friday♡ lief
[he's been wandering somewhat aimlessly, as if that could ever clear his head.
akira's dealt with a rapid succession of grief stages that never full come and go. he's sad, he's despairing, he's sick, he's furious.
he's completely fucking helpless.
akira realizes that every last bit of power he's come to wield is completely useless here. he couldn't protect haru at all. even when he was almost entirely sure she was going to be a target. he should have done more. he should have stayed in her room, he shouldn't have refused to go into his own hut—he should have done anything and everything to protect haru, and he didn't.
it gets to him.
when he gets tired of everyone checking on him and asking if he's okay (no matter how many times he asks, he brushes it off and tries to pretend he'll pick himself up), he disappears. mostly to clear his head, because nothing has given him a chance to, and he's never experienced this. nobody close to him has died, not... from his team. not people he knew stronger than that.
not so brutally, either.
even if he's the leader of the phantom thieve, he's still just a teenager who's been fed a shitty lot in life. this just proves it.
his disappearing act isn't far, though. it's dark, just a few paces into the jungle where he sits on the boulder he and haru chatted on when they first arrived. he takes his glasses off, placing them a bit carelessly to the side before he just... sits there. face buried in his hands. he's hurting—he's hurting and he's not one to show his emotions so readily to anyone, so he attempts to do this alone, but you know.
what's the fun in that for the rest of us, right?]
akira's dealt with a rapid succession of grief stages that never full come and go. he's sad, he's despairing, he's sick, he's furious.
he's completely fucking helpless.
akira realizes that every last bit of power he's come to wield is completely useless here. he couldn't protect haru at all. even when he was almost entirely sure she was going to be a target. he should have done more. he should have stayed in her room, he shouldn't have refused to go into his own hut—he should have done anything and everything to protect haru, and he didn't.
it gets to him.
when he gets tired of everyone checking on him and asking if he's okay (no matter how many times he asks, he brushes it off and tries to pretend he'll pick himself up), he disappears. mostly to clear his head, because nothing has given him a chance to, and he's never experienced this. nobody close to him has died, not... from his team. not people he knew stronger than that.
not so brutally, either.
even if he's the leader of the phantom thieve, he's still just a teenager who's been fed a shitty lot in life. this just proves it.
his disappearing act isn't far, though. it's dark, just a few paces into the jungle where he sits on the boulder he and haru chatted on when they first arrived. he takes his glasses off, placing them a bit carelessly to the side before he just... sits there. face buried in his hands. he's hurting—he's hurting and he's not one to show his emotions so readily to anyone, so he attempts to do this alone, but you know.
what's the fun in that for the rest of us, right?]