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week one ♡ saturday ♡ magilou
[once he's cleared his head at least a little—it's probably time to head back to the huts. maybe sleep it off and try to feel more human instead of whatever it is he's been.
emotional. hurting. angry. generally frustrated. guilty about yato.
a lot of things.
the people in the longhouse probably saw more anger from akira than the entirety of the phantom thieves collectively between april and sending the calling card in december. so much of what he kept buried for the sake of everyone else, so much of what had been akira kept level by his team had slipped away.
his center of gravity is definitely off.
but a protag is a protag, and a persona protag is even more of a protag—so when he sees magilou shuffling off into the jungle on his way back? he has to follow. what the hell is she getting up to right now?]
emotional. hurting. angry. generally frustrated. guilty about yato.
a lot of things.
the people in the longhouse probably saw more anger from akira than the entirety of the phantom thieves collectively between april and sending the calling card in december. so much of what he kept buried for the sake of everyone else, so much of what had been akira kept level by his team had slipped away.
his center of gravity is definitely off.
but a protag is a protag, and a persona protag is even more of a protag—so when he sees magilou shuffling off into the jungle on his way back? he has to follow. what the hell is she getting up to right now?]
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[. . .]
I see.
[she perks up again, rocking back on her heels and shrugging]
No a bad answer. I wonder if someone else would provide a different one, though.
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[he doesn't know.]
I can only answer what I think it is. For me. Though... I forgot one thing.
[something that's so important to living—the fact he forgot this for even this long is telling of how out of sorts he is—
but akira recognizes that to himself quietly. magilou doesn't need to know that he finds this to be the most important thing.]
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[. . . no but she tried]
[a little]
[it was more like not trying at all]
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Freedom.
1/2
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[and the half-heartedly joking answer she gives in response]
. . . that's sort of like free ice cream.
Sort of.
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so does the deflection.]
Freedom wouldn't melt in a jungle like this.
[that's the difference, clearly.]
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[sighs]
Oh dear. I suppose I'm not very subtle.
[she gives in easily on this one, can't imagine why]
. . . I don't really have an answer about what actually constitutes "being alive." Truthfully, I'm not really sure what does.
[she's still trying to figure that one out. after shutting off your feelings for so long, the process of turning them back on again is just. . . well. it's a process!! and it doesn't happen overnight, especially when she still fights against it]
But! If I were to give a response anyway, that'd probably be mine.
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[which is weird to think about, or maybe just to address. it's always been a bit known; akira's suspected that early on.
but this makes it tangible.
it makes it something they both can't really ignore. even if somehow, the most important thing was the one he forgot to say?]
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Yeah.
[it's so weird when she's being serious??? it's so starkly different to her naturally dramatic and exuberant self]
. . . there's one more thing I didn't tell you. About the Abbey. And its goals.
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more interesting? more... sincere, maybe? he's not even sure.]
What's that? [the thing she didn't tell him, obviously.]
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The Abbey basically worshiped a god-- well, he was less of a god and just a super powerful malak-- known as Innominat, the Empyrean of Suppression.
The Shepherd, and by extension the higher ups in the Abbey, tried to revive Innominat so he could sunder all emotion from humanity and rid the world of "evil."
[she only puts it like that because she hasn't explained malevolence to him yet, but it gets the point across]
That's the true meaning of surpassing the impossible to achieve the ideal.
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in the meanwhile... his fists clench at his side just thinking about that. the similarities between the abbey and what shido wanted—
it resonates all too well with him. too much, and it explains well enough just why magilou would want for freedom to be truly living as much as he would.]
Sunder all emotion. Make them apathetic to everything, mindless and willing to follow any rule. Alive...
But not living.
[that pisses him off even though he couldn't do anything about that even if he wanted to. but magilou implies past tense here—an implication that it's not something currently happening, so clearly—it must have worked out to some extent?]
What happened to them? The Abbey, the Shepherd... Innominat? [he has to ask.]
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Far too many people take freedom and the chance to really be alive for granted. Was being arrested twice really all that it took for you to understand so well?
[an idle question she asks aloud, not really expecting a response, judging by the way she continues quickly after]
All you have to do is look at Laphicet's page in that notebook to know. The Shepherd is dead. The Abbey is in shambles. The world's a mess, and who knows if it'll manage to survive in its current state, without someone out there to guide the masses?
[her bored tone is back, and she skimps on details. she's divulging too much anyway-- breaking her oath just by talking to him about Innominat. if this even counts as breaking same, when he isn't even from her world to begin with]
[Velvet's story and Innominat's fate. . . well, she can save that for later]
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[he glosses ove the first idle question; at least they're in agreement that he's not going to answer that yet. because of course—
that's not all there is to it. and hell, akira still doesn't even know how bad the problem with apathy is back home yet. he hasn't seen the depths of mementos, he hasn't seen the holy grail or yaldabaoth—he's only seen the apathetic way nobody seems to care about shido's confession, and how it's like the phantom thieves did nothing at all.
which is weird and unsettling even still, when he thinks about it.]
If they have the freedom to, they'll figure out some way to continue on.
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That's the hope.
[. . .]
Well, anyway! That's the story. Most of it. Frankly, I'm just an observer on the outside of all of this. [lol Magilou plz] As long as I have my freedom, whatever way humanity goes matters very little to me.
[Magilou plz]
I hope you didn't think we toppled an entire theocracy for the good of humanity or anything. We were just doing what we felt like doing.
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[considering she already told him she helped kill melchior.
obviously? akira isn't really buying that she didn't have at least some heavy-handed involvement in it.
but it's fine. it's fine? it's probably fine.]
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[mixed signals makes it more likely he won't pick up on the right one!!]
Why do you think I've decided to record everything that happens on this island? It's my job.
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[okay magilou]
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[he's disbelieving.]
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[he won't.]
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[:3]
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[c:]
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