jokered | week two ♡ saturday ♡ magilou

[HEY SHE DIDN'T PICK THAT FIGHT, JAFFAR PICKED IT WITH HER :(]

[on the bright side, she isn't setting fires to jungle foliage today! on the down side, she's throwing chipped seashells at jungle trees, and watching them shatter as they collide with the bark]

[. . . huh. wonder what's worse: fire or breaking sea shells]

[she didn't help, let's be real here.

still, he can see that she's not in a great mood—somehow, it does seem worse than last week, and now he's curious about the trigger.]

Tell those trees who the boss is here. [clearly, it's you, magilou.]

[. . . yeah it's true. DID YOU SEE HER DISARM A MAN WITH A LADLE, AKIRA!!]

[she stops mid-throw, but unlike last week, she doesn't even bother with a semblance of seriousness before she slips into her usual dramatics]

I did feel as though they needed to be put in their place. Besides! It's good target practice.

[he'll notice that she hasn't treated the wound on her arm. it's still there, still visible, an angry red gash against pale skin. it isn't bleeding anymore, but there's dried blood caked around the edges from earlier]

[he did, which is definitely part of the reason he's here right now.]

You should at least clean that up. It'll get infected if you don't.

[he's too much of a protagonist sometimes, he's gotta fret about these things, even if a subdued way.]

[. . . oh]

[she wrinkles her nose, and looks down at her arm]

It's at a time like this where I could really use my healing artes.

[that's okay. if he doesn't want to talk about trees, then they can talk about her arm!! it's far better than talking about anything else, like why her quill is suddenly broken, and why she was throwing shells at the trees in the first place. right??]

I don't have access to the first aid kit, and the clean water I have is for drinking.

Katara had it last time I checked. If you won't go to her about it, I will.

[oof.

that definitely comes out in the "joker is a leader looking out for his team" tone that he doesn't really use very much here. but it's fine.]

You're not off the hook, either.

[oof indeed. her expression flickers for the briefest of moments, before she shifts her weight from one foot to the other, bringing one hand up to her hip]

My, you're a little bossy.

[she says that lightly, still trying to joke]

I've been scolded enough in the past two days, and I don't want another lecture. So don't worry about it-- I'll go to her.

[no comment on the hook]

[he nods—he'll take that, because it's not like he won't know if she doesn't follow through on that later. it's not a serious wound—he knows it can wait until their conversation is through, at least.]

Your quill's seen better days.

[called out.]

-- haa?

[actually, that's not at all what she thought the "hook" was]

Oh. My pen slipped-- oopsie! I thought you were going to ask me about my little spat with Musclehead.

No, that was probably inevitable with how Jaffar is.

[he's not letting it go.]

It was hard to miss. Your quill, I mean.

[. . .]

[for all that she's told him so far, for reasons even she can't begin to fathom, she doesn't seem very willing to lament]

Was it that loud? My, you must all have very good hearing.

My senses are pretty sharp.

[...] I'm sure you've already realized that.

[he's got sharp senses and sharp reflexes—she probably knows that better than most.]

[the corner of her mouth quirks up-- he probably knows that irritated smirk for what it is now]

Yeah. I've noticed. It pisses me off sometimes.

[there isn't any actual heat or anger in her words, though. maybe a bit of tired resignation? since when did he become so good at getting stuff out of her, when she usually fought to keep people at a distance, anyway? since when did he become, like. . . an actual confidant?]

[no joke intended]

[she steels herself (for what?), folding her arms and tilting her head to the side, expression bored]

Hey. Here's a question for you.

On an island where people are being killed by an unknown entity, where trust doesn't come easily and nobody knows if they'll even live to the next week or not. . . why shouldn't someone be a little selfish?

...I think everyone is always a little selfish.

[he had a feeling, based on when magilou reacted, what this would be about.

so he figures he should clear that up immediately. they're all selfish. they all want to live, after all (well, except laura who selfishly wants to die?)]

But I'll never agree it's okay to tout a moral high ground of a "clean conscience" when we're sentencing people to death no matter what we do.

[...] And randomly sentencing two innocents to that kind of fate as if it's better—

It's not just selfish, it's completely foolish.

[everyone could stand to be a little less selfish, himself included. but it's about really specific things rather than just selfishness.]

[. . .]

You're not wrong.

[there's a reason her vote was tossed at Pal and not some other random innocent person, if only because she would've been contradicting herself otherwise. refusing to vote for a known innocent (despite Austria's apparent death flag) just to vote for another didn't make sense to Magilou, personally]

[but that wasn't. . . that wasn't exactly it]

But not everyone is that strong, you know.

Edited (PHONE TAGGING TYPOS) 2017-08-22 18:33 (UTC)

I'm just not the kind of person who can say nothing when people's lives are on the line.

[he's not okay with it.]

We could have killed two people unfairly if we'd all agreed to actually vote for the tweedle assholes, too.

[which isn't to make magilou feel bad, it's just fact.]

Thinking only about yourself is a death sentence here. We need to be smarter about this.

[do-gooders]

I understood her, I suppose.

[she says!! flippantly, hands linked behind her head as she steps back, turning away from him every so slightly]

Her last-ditch effort at reclaiming agency. At grasping for a bit of control on this island prison.

[. . .]

Is that part of it really so bad?

It's a false sense of control.

[sorry, magilou. he's never going to be able to understand that specific mentality, jinah's reasons and choices in that scenario were terrible to him.]

Earlier on, she told me she felt like this place was punishment for doing things she wanted back home. Here, doing things she "wants" can just get people needlessly killed, or get herself killed by putting a target on her back.

[annoyed as he may be, it's probably clear enough that he doesn't want her dead for it.]

It's not just our own asses we need to look out for right now, but making more innocent victims instead of less—

[he grimaces.] I've seen enough of that kind of bullshit already in my life.

[it hits home a little too hard for him.]

[to be honest, it's probably good for her to hear this kind of thing, if only because she's far too used to being oppressed and crushed by the good of the many over the suffering of the few not to instinctively jerk back as soon as it's brought up. maybe that's why it was his words, and his specifically, that dug that reaction from her. after all, it was pure selfishness that had saved humanity from being turned into emotionless slaves back home]

[but Moron Island isn't Midgand, and Akira isn't Artorius-- not that she'd ever make that comparison, because Akira's actually a good person (she both finds that irritating and admires it all at once, in her own weird Magilou way) and him saying he wants to fight for the good of the whole carries far different connotations than the former Shepherd saying same]

[a small sigh]

. . . you have. That's true.

[look even if he doesn't give her his backstory in our Friday night PC SHE CAN ALREADY TELL THAT ABOUT HIM!! so she's just stating the obvious]

Then, if what I described is a false sense of control, how do we seize true agency?

[again, that's a genuine question. which is sometimes hard to tell with her]

[he's definitely told her enough about his life even without that to imply that he's seen some shit.

either way?

akira shakes his head, closing his eyes.]

I don't know if we really have true agency here.

[it suck to admit that, but akira's finding that the further into this game they go, the less agency they really have.]

If it exists, it's still twisted. I don't even know if it counts. Does assigning people into roles to commit murder have agency if they get to choose their prey?

Does voting have agency even if someone will die no matter what we do?

Does putting an end to our own lives even though it's against the "rules" count? Or protest voting and taking the punishment?

[he's passionate about this, but in that way where akira is obviously frustrated by it because he hates the circumstances so much.]

They've charted a course with our lives. Any agency we have feels like an illusion unless we can find loopholes that will work and end the game swiftly. [but he can't see a single loophole in anything they've done so far.]

[that's--]

[. . .]

[idly, she lifts a hand to brush some of the dried blood away from the laceration in her arm. it's that passion again, that fire that originally reminded her of Velvet, but has long since taken on a new form very specific to him. hatred and anger and selfishness helped Velvet save the world, but what could this kid-- this trickster-type character who has been wronged by the world over and over again-- do for them with actual good-heartedness and an earnest desire to see everyone home safely?]

[he was so much more selfless than her, to not even think about trying to seize control within the game's confines for his own personal edification. and here she had thought that she had shed her own chains long, long ago]

You don't find that thought crushing? A weight on your heart, slowly bearing down until it squeezes every last bit of life out of you?

[the thought that they didn't have any actual control whatsoever, she means]

[because she did. and she hated it]

I can't let it to that.

[there's a hard edge to his voice; but it's not cold. it's hot like fire, a quiet intensity that exists in an entirely different way than velvet's ever did.]

We just need to find a way to win this game.

[his hands curls into fists at his sides, but he shoves them back into his pockets.]

I don't know if you heard what Hal said to Yona during the trial. But his words implied that by "winning" the game, he really did send home everyone alive, even those that died during the game.

It lines up with other things that have been said. That things might not be permanent. Maybe death is some kind of farce, a product of our cognition, or theirs.

[...] Whatever it is, if there's a way to bring everyone back, I want to find it.

...And then I want to stop them from ever being able to do this to another group of people.

[. . . . . . . . . . . . .]

[what the fuck]

[she's really into this]

[-- she lets out a laugh, more at herself and less at him, as she folds her arms and taps her fingers against her elbow]

You're like her, but also very different. [it's interesting. no, just "interesting" doesn't seem like a very fair way to put it. it's way more than that]

[it's a little. . . inspiring? in a way entirely different than the inspiration she drew from Velvet and the others. it's a more positive influence. a juxtaposition to learning that pain and rage were a part of living. because for all that pain can drive a person, for all that pain meant someone else was alive. . . there was still hope and love and all of that other cheesy shit that she still couldn't quite open herself up to yet]

Well. . . I'm rooting for you. [just "rooting for," because she still has a difficult time seeing herself in his place. she might be healing, but her heart still wasn't that strong. at least. . . she didn't think it was] I did tell someone else it'd be awfully nice to bet on hope for once, instead of the house.

This is what I've always fought for.

[his simmers quietly; he won't let himself get too worked up, lest she think he has some intent on going into some kind of murderous rage for the greater good.

not the plan here.]

Corrupt people, chaining down people with terrible burdens and lives for their own selfish gains. They're not any different, even if I'm at a disadvantage here. Even if I have to play by their rules to get there—

[because he can't afford to die so easily, because he can't afford to be maimed or anything else when his own life isn't the only one that hinges in his actions...]

I don't plan on backing down.

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