week one ♡ friday♡ lelouch lamperouge

[it's pretty hard to be okay after that.

even after a few hours, he's decidedly not. okay. the initial sick feeling fades, and what's left is... anger.

bitterness.

some at himself. a lot at himself, really. but there's a deep-seated contempt that already exists within him, and knowing that someone here, at the urging of hal and pal, killed someone precious to him? it just feeds a fury that already lingered beneath the surface.

he's going through the motions of emotions, oscillating between actual sadness and pain and despair and a muted fury that could probably change the world. whenever lelouch decides to show up? it'll be the latter. he's sitting on the beach, eyes fixed on the endless ocean—and boy. akira definitely looks not okay in a way that maybe could somehow be expected when your friend is dismembered and her head put on a stake—but certainly abnormal for someone who has been playing "innocent high school student who have never experienced Real Shit in his life ever."

funny, that.]

week one ♡ friday♡ lief

[he's been wandering somewhat aimlessly, as if that could ever clear his head.

akira's dealt with a rapid succession of grief stages that never full come and go. he's sad, he's despairing, he's sick, he's furious.

he's completely fucking helpless.

akira realizes that every last bit of power he's come to wield is completely useless here. he couldn't protect haru at all. even when he was almost entirely sure she was going to be a target. he should have done more. he should have stayed in her room, he shouldn't have refused to go into his own hut—he should have done anything and everything to protect haru, and he didn't.

it gets to him.

when he gets tired of everyone checking on him and asking if he's okay (no matter how many times he asks, he brushes it off and tries to pretend he'll pick himself up), he disappears. mostly to clear his head, because nothing has given him a chance to, and he's never experienced this. nobody close to him has died, not... from his team. not people he knew stronger than that.

not so brutally, either.

even if he's the leader of the phantom thieve, he's still just a teenager who's been fed a shitty lot in life. this just proves it.

his disappearing act isn't far, though. it's dark, just a few paces into the jungle where he sits on the boulder he and haru chatted on when they first arrived. he takes his glasses off, placing them a bit carelessly to the side before he just... sits there. face buried in his hands. he's hurting—he's hurting and he's not one to show his emotions so readily to anyone, so he attempts to do this alone, but you know.

what's the fun in that for the rest of us, right?]

week one ♡ friday ♡ shinjiro

[it's not like it really gets any easier as the day goes on. akira's had countless people talk to him, offer support, try to help.

on its own, that's not a bad thing. but for akira, both because of his circumstances with his criminal record and his status as the leader of the phantom thieves—this kind of doting attention is far too much for him to know how to handle. he's the one who helps others with their troubles—not the other way around.

still, people have made their efforts.

(maybe it feels a little hollow, too, when he knows haru's killer is in their numbers.)

but yet, akira only sits outside of his hut in the sand after a while, as the day draws nearer to a close. next to him is a fish on a leaf and a bottle of water—both given to him by a concerned person; he hasn't found it in him to actually eat it, though.

instead, akira is idly tracing out design in the sand. look, it's totally a productive use of his time.]