jokered | week three ♡ wednesday ♡ magilou

Heeeeey.

[looks like he wasn't the only one who decided to stay up this late. all things considered, Magilou isn't angry-- even though her own roommate and partner was one of those who had risked their lives. then again. . . perhaps months of traveling with the Lord of Calamity and her crew desensitized her to a sense of danger?]

[or maybe she was just way too used to being comrades with reckless people]

[at any rate! she's leaning against a tree casually, arms folded]

Out for a moonlit stroll?

[perhaps. but even for akira, who is often reckless, this has been a little too much. to put teammates at risk, for nobody to actually coordinate—

they're stupid. they're all so stupid and selfish, and not in a way that he can really reconcile.]

Sure, we'll go with that.

[he's. not happy.]

[she can tell. not that she blames him-- it was an extremely large display of stupidity and recklessness by a significant population of the island. most of whom didn't even inform or drag their partners along with them]

[she's the weird one for not being mad, lbr]

[there's a pause before she speaks again, eyes trained on him as she studies his demeanor carefully]

Uho. . . actually you look like you could really use one right about now. Just to cool off a bit before you burn yourself out.

[pushes away from the tree and gestures with one hand for him to follow her]

Let's go!

Edited 2017-08-24 03:46 (UTC)

[well, at the very least—he has no anger or frustration to direct toward her. magilou legitimately did nothing wrong, and even if she's not mad despite her partner being one of the morons...

he can't fault her. he knows how she she is, and it's not like he didn't catch a glimpse of her tending to lucina earlier, anyway.

there's no reason to argue with her; magilou's right. isn't that why he's out here to begin with? to try and clear his head—though he didn't expect that he'd have company. so he's quiet, more like he normally would be, but still follows her lead anyway.]

[she leads him towards the beach-- the shoreline actually, right up next to the water-- hands linked behind her head. she walks in front of him, but to the side, making sure to keep him within her range of vision. the silence isn't unusual, but for some reason. . .]

[. . .]

Wanna yell for a bit? I promise I won't tell anyone-- your reputation as the strong but silent type is safe with me!

Not really.

[oh.]

I got the loud parts out already.

["loud." akira really doesn't yell very often, and though he's still simmering—it's really not that kind of anger that's settling in.

it's quiet and gradual, it's furious, but it's also... pain? hurt? betrayal?

whatever it is, it seems to be just about on the level with how things have been when he's talked about some of the shitty things in his past—only maybe a little more intense, because it's a fresh wound.

huh.]

[. . . . oh. damn it, that was supposed to work]

Uuuum. . .

[fuck. feelings?? how does she. this isn't her area of expertise?? she'd rather shitpost than talk about feelings. she doesn't even care??? he's mad, of course he's mad, she gets it. what else is there to it other than him being mad?? she should just leave this be. let him simmer and stew until it all flickers out]

[. . .]

[gooood. she doesn't care she doesn't care she doesn't c a r e]

Okay, I'm not really good at this part, in case you haven't noticed? And I'm not going to become good at it just because we've had a couple of heart-to-hearts, sssssoo. . .

[um]

If you wanted to say something, then say it. But if not, I'm just going to shove you into the ocean instead.

[nailed it]

Edited 2017-08-25 00:05 (UTC)

...I wasn't looking for you to deal with my feelings.

[that's all he says. quietly. simply.

this is much more on par for how akira is normally, back home. he doesn't talk about his feelings. what he's saying or thinking.

...maybe he needs to go back to that? being more open, however forced it's been because of the situation—it hasn't helped him a lick. it's not doing him favors, it's not helping anyone.

things that worked back home just don't here, and it's a wonder he hasn't completely called into question the idea that most of his bonds were people drawn to him specifically because they had a space to fill in his tarot. maybe he has, a little. april. how he felt back in april, angry and completely powerless, without a leg to stand on or a way to really handle things properly—

what a crushing feeling in his chest. it's so suffocating that akira lets out a quiet, humorless chuckle to himself.

a mess.]

Go ahead, shove me in.

[. . .]

Okay. Just remember, you asked for it.

[DEEP BREATH--]

[perhaps calling it "shoving" was a bit of a misnomer. because she doesn't just push him over like a domino tile. that'd be way too simple]

[she LAUNCHES HERSELF BODILY AT HIM, immediately latching onto the backs of his shoulders like a koala, and practically tackles him into the water instead. I mean. . . she's tiny and fairly light, so there's not a whole lot of force behind the blow, but she's putting as much muscle into this as she can!!]

[like a good Magilou!!]

[she may not be good at feelings, but she's super good at really over-the-top distractions]

Oof—!

[yeah, he wasn't expecting that, so it's not hard for him to go tumbling into the water, even though.

you know.

he's still gonna take her down with him, because that's how he is—but at least he'll bear the weight of the fall?

there's that.]

[tbf it's hard to tackle someone into the water and not go down with them, so. . .!]

[he takes the brunt of the fall, which leaves her sitting on top of him (back or stomach, depending on how he landed) when all is said and done. they're probably both soaked right now]

Great. Now look what you made me do.

[LIKE. THIS WAS ALL HIS IDEA IN THE FIRST PLACE?? Magilou. . .]

[takes a handful of her own hair and starts wringing it out]

Edited 2017-08-25 19:17 (UTC)

[on his back, which probably ended up being a little safer. it's fine.]

I can't believe you're blaming me for that. [even if it is amusing, to once again have dragged her into being dripping wet. there has to be some plus side to this night, because...

honestly, akira did a couple of really shitty things that he probably shouldn't have, even if one of them was entirely unintentional.

he doesn't seem to be in a rush to move, in any case. even though now his clothes are totally soaked and he'll have to hang them out to dry. it's fine. maybe he did need to very literally cool his head, even if now he can hardly see anything because his glases are soaked.]

[. . . AKIRA WHAT DID YOU DO!!]

[she's quiet for a long moment, just. sort sitting there, one leg crossed over the other, as she squeezes water from her hair. the pause is much lengthier than what is strictly comfortable, so when he doesn't move. . . well]

Hey.

[ugh okay Magilou at least try? at least try]

Tell me about your feelings before I lose my nerve and advise you to just suck it up. [magilou no] I mean, it isn't like I care-- [that's a joke] -- or anything, but Velvet has already filled my quota of angrily brooding friends.

[he might have fucked up a couple of times.

either way, it's not like he could really move too far with their positions, he just. doesn't really care much if she sits on him?]

Talk about a change of heart.

[he laughs, a bit dry and humorless.] It's not even about my own feelings at this point, anyway.

[honestly speaking.]

Back home... I was everyone's pillar. They came to me with their problems, we worked on it, I helped them. Nobody asked too much about mine, and I didn't need them to, because I could deal with it.

[he's giving her a little backstory.]

Things here are just... changing me, and not in a way I like. [it's the circumstances.] I said and did things tonight I wouldn't have before when someone was struggling.

[he's just not sure how to recover from that, even though it's probably obvious that haru dying the way she did was always going to be a catalyst for him to... maybe not break, but to lose some of that ever burning cool that he held onto so tightly.]

And you didn't even have to steal it, imagine that!

[SHE JOKES. . . it's like she's incapable of being serious for too long. but for all her shitposting, she at least remains politely silent as he talks]

Being a pillar is a lot of work, you know.

[her tone isn't flippant, but it's still somewhat detached in that Magilou way where she's trying not to seem too invested in what she's saying. she even punctuates it by flicking drops of water at him]

It means people get upset when you break a little, because according to them, you're not supposed to. So you teach yourself not to show even the tiniest of chinks in your armor.

[I mean, she has no experience with being a pillar, but. with trying to hide cracks in her facade? yeah]

What'd you do, anyway?

[she's right, and akira knows it—of course he does. it's not like he's unaware that the fact he's so used to never showing a lot of his own feelings or struggles has made this tough on him.

there are people here who have seen sides to him that he never would have let his team see—and maybe that eats at him a bit too. he's managed to keep anyone from seeing him cry up to this point, but he's shown fear and despair in other ways, he's gotten far angrier than he would allow, and he's done well at being a little inconsiderate in his word choices more than once.

he scrunches his nose a bit when she flicks the water at him, but he seems...

reluctant to address what she say verbally.

maybe because he's already showing her way too many of the chinks in his armor and he's not entirely comfortable with it, either.]

I might have punched someone. And made someone else entirely cry.

[so you know.

literally the opposite of what he just told her he usually does. obviously, he doesn't feel great about it, either.]

[if she senses his discomfort, she doesn't show it. doesn't even address it, or the fact that she's well aware that this moment is one giant crack in his calm exterior. it's easier that way-- to not address that she's talking to him about this because she cares, and he's sharing it with her because there's some measure of. . . heck if she knows. trust? between them]

[foe some reason she still doesn't quite fathom, but whatever!!]

[also it isn't as though he hasn't seen her own cracks by now, even if they manifest in a totally and completely different way]

Did you manage to knock some sense into them? [MAGILOU. . .] The one you punched, not the one you made cry.

[IS NOW THE TIME FOR THIS]

[they've definitely opened up to each other a lot more than either of them is willing to admit right now; so many of akira's problems lie in the fact that he's just not happy with his own choices.

which isn't magilou's fault.

it's his own, for letting things get the better of him, and while no anger towards any of the people here would ever push him to kill, he knows that he's pretty taut right now, the strings fraying a bit without the support of his friends to keep him grounded.

and that's not a burden he's going to place on magilou either, he could never.]

I think they got the point.

[he says with a sigh, leaning back a bit to dip his head in the water and wet his hair a bit. kind of the opposite of magilou trying to squeeze her hair out, whoops.]

[hey hey, she has a bet to lose, here. don't go fraying and completely breaking on her yet!1]

In the grand scheme of things, a punch really isn't so bad. It isn't like you sold them out to your mutual enemies. [. . .] Twice.

[SECOND TIME WASN'T HER FAULT, THOUGH. but anyway! she moves on quickly]

If you really feel so bad about it, then are you going to try to make things right? Anger and guilt are a part of being human, but stewing on them too much is. . .

[a perfect breeding ground for malevolence]

[he nods.]

I think we all needed to cool off, first.

[at least, akira knows he needed to. he thinks one may be easier to reconcile than the other, but the more vicious of the situations was one where the other person knew why it happened and why he was mad.

they can work past it, even if akira's trust in that person is definitely fractured for more reasons than one.]

I won't leave it alone. I... don't think I could, that's not who I am.

[no matter how out of sorts he's been, there are certain aspects of his moral fiber just can't be touched.]

They're not people I want to make enemies of just because I got angry.

[reaches out]

[and flicks his nose]

And that's way more important than a couple of cracks in that shining armor of yours, Trickster.

[??? NO MODIFIER?? maybe she just forgot]

Don't beat yourself up for being human. We all are-- even a strong heart falters sometimes. [. . .] Even if you swung the blade of that anger in a way that might've harmed people you didn't wish to harm, at least you now have a better idea on how to temper yourself.

[but I mean]

[it's not like she cares or anything]

[he won't call her out on the trickster thing right now—honestly, he doesn't see a need to. not because he's happy she's acknowledging him as such, but just because it doesn't feel like the time to.

he's quiet for a long moment; it's weird being on the receiving end of that kind of advice. having someone tell him the things he needs to hear instead of it being the other way around. he's used to people expecting him to be endlessly strong and unflappable, that his heart never falters and he never loses sight of what's important.

but maybe it's not fair that akira has been holding himself to a higher standard than he's held others to. he doesn't expect anyone else to be infallible, and yet he's pretty frustrated with himself for the very same.

(he's not totally sure he's ready to face that yet, though. apparently, in some way, akira is just as closed off as magilou is.)]

...You better be careful, Magilou.

[funny, how they both seem to divert the topic when things hit a little too close to home.]

I might start thinking you actually care.

[yeah, don't think she didn't notice that diversion. but perhaps him facing himself, him coming to terms with his own weaknesses, isn't something she can help him with directly. it's sort of an intensely personal thing, anyway. . . and maybe? she kind of understands that for extremely personal reasons]

[so she'll go along with it]

Oh. Huh.

I guess this is the part where I push you into the volcano for knowing too much.

[IT WAS NICE KNOWING YOU, AKIRA]

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1/2

2/3 actually. . .

i'm done....... i'm sorry...........

never be sorry, it's fine

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